What Hurts the Most
by professionaldooropener
Summary: songfic to What Hurts the Most about Syaoran and Sakura and when he leaves summary sucks better story


Songfic to "What Hurts the Most" by the Rascal Flatts

Disclaimer: I don't own Card Captor Sakura it is owned by the wonderfully wondrous CLAMP, nor do I own the Rascal Flatts.

AN: hey, if anyone is reading my Naruto one-shot story, please know that it will start up again, I've had major writers block and this came out of it. NOW if you have the song "What hurts the most" I recommend that you listen to it while reading this story because it increases the emotional effect.

AND this is based on the manga, not the anime, cause moments like this are better in manga always. This is basically the end of the manga so there are spoilers and a few differences of my own.

What Hurts the Most

_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me_

Life is so empty now, Syaoran-kun is gone, leaving me behind. Nothing matters anymore, I'm lifeless. I know that onii-chan, Yukito-san, Kero-chan, and Tomoyo-chan are all worried about me.

_  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out  
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while_

I cry at night, I can't help it, the tears just come. I try to be quiet, it worries Kero-chan, and I don't want him too. But I-I, I can't seem to stop crying

_  
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok  
But that's not what gets me_

I pretend, at school I smile, I laugh, pretend to fall for Yamazaki-kuns' lies. No one notices that I can't smile, not anymore. __

What hurts the most  
Was being so close

I almost told him that I loved him so many times, but I faltered. Eriol-kuns words in my head, "You need to look inside yourself, and you can find the one you truly love."

_  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
_

He ran away so many times, I never understood, I thought he hated me sometimes. When I think that, I remember the times when he did hate me, when the Clow Cards were still around, not my Sakura Cards. Thinking about him and that time brings a fresh wave of tears.

_And never knowing_

_What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was tryin' to do_

It seemed so sudden when I realized that I loved him, how could I have been so blind. All those times I accidentally made extra sweets, how could I not realize that those were for him.

It_'s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
But I'm doin' It_

King Penguin Park, so many memories there, Clow Cards we captured together. All the times he saved me. I would be dead if it wasn't for him.

The time that Yukito let me down, telling me that I didn't love him, and that I loved someone else. It was true, but it still hurt me deeply. I told Syaoran about it on the swings in this park. He told me that he understood. He let me cry on him. He took me home, and made sure I was okay.

_  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
_

Being together with everyone, made it harder, so much harder, I tried to smile, but it wasn't real. I suppressed the tears, I suppressed the pain. I even asked Kero-chan if the erase card could erase my memories of Syaoran. But I didn't want that, I promised to wait for him.

_Still Harder  
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret_

There were the days when I just wanted to sit in bed and cry, but after a while, it got easier, but the pain in my heart was still there.

_  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken  
_

I wouldn't change anything about our time together, except that I would have told him sooner, not faltered. I wouldn't have let him leave when he told me that he loved me.

_  
What hurts the most  
Is being so close_

There were so many times I should have realized that he at least liked me. The day we went shopping with Eriol-kun and Tomoyo-chan. When we were stuck in the elevator and the wall disappeared, and I fell.

He had cried out my name in so much pain, it was the first time he ever called me that. I simply used the Float Card. There had been a pain in my heart when I saw him crying. He reached out and pulled me off my cloud, and hugged me. I had seen tears on his face, but hadn't said anything.

_  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away_

The day he left was the day I realized how much I loved my family, to-san onii-chan, Yukito-san. When I told them I had only five minutes, they had looked sad, sad for me. Onii-chan came to my rescue, he took me to the airport bus stop on his motorcycle. Not even protesting, I knew that it must be hard for him, he hated Syaoran-kun.

I ran up to the bus calling out his name. He opened his window, looking shocked. "Syaoran!" I yelled not even bothering with the prefix. "I understand my feelings now." I started crying. "The one that I love that most, is you!" I handed him the teddy bear that I had made for him.

"Thank you," he replied softly. "Can I name it Sakura?"

"Hai, can I name the one you gave to me Syaoran?"

"Hai."

_  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do_

The bus started to move and Syaoran yelled out "I'll come back!"

"When!" I started running after the moving bus.

"When I'm done doing what I have to do in Hong Kong." He looked sad.

"When's that!" the bus was pulling farther ahead.

"Will you wait for me?" he questioned looking unsure. That's when my heart broke.

"Yes!"

The bus was out of reach now, I stopped and let it go, waving sadly. "I'll wait forever." I whispered, "because you're the one that I love the most."__

What hurts the most  
Is being so close

We keep in contact, letters, short and far to infrequent phone calls. But I still love him, and I always will.

_  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
_

As I walk through King Penguin Park I spot a boy with his back turned to me, but a familiar bear dangling from his hand. "Syaoran-kun?" he turns to face me, and it is him.

_And never knowing  
What could have been_

"I finished the formalities in Hong Kong, I can stay in Tomoeda now." He smiled, looking happy. I felt my heart begin to swell.

"Really?" it was too good to be true.

"Hai."

"We don't have to go through phones and letters anymore."

"Yeah."

I smiled tearfully at him. Then a few tears streaked down my cheeks.

_  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do_

I threw myself into his arms, "From now on we'll be together forever!" I felt him smile and wrap his arms around me even tighter.

"Yeah."__

(Not seeing that loving you)  
That's what I was trying to do

**END**

**AN aww it's over, I almost cried in a couple parts while writing it… anyways please review and tell me what you think!!!**


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